Today is just another day to try and survive. I have started seeing a new doctor, Cherry, and I have to say that she has helped me tremendously. I have only had one session with her, but I finally had a good laugh and was told I wasn't crazy...how good that felt. Now if I can only realize the truth in what I have been told. I feel like I am going stark mad crazy, loosing track of thoughts in mid sentence, forgetting important dates, forgetting how I get to places (as if my car is on autopilot) wondering how many red lights I drove through and always asking myself, "How the Hell did I get here?!" That is the scariest part...not realizing where and what I am doing.

I go to bed at night, wanting so bad to dream of Charlie, instead, I dream of black, shadowy figures, running as hard as I can; urgently; and getting no where...that light is always just outside my grasp. And then, when I wake up, I am exhausted and trying for the life of my what I was dreaming about. It is soooo frustrating sometimes. The only thing that seems to calm my frustration and aggravation is when I work on my crafts. Thank God for my crafting. Always looking for something to keep my mind off of the pain. I am so glad that Father's Day is coming up. I have been working on crafts for both my father and Kyle, a friend who lost his son 22 days before Charlie. My sanity is definitely in my crafts.

Oh well, today is just a day of blah, blah, blah...with nothing to really say. I am grateful that I have my blog. Another sanity ploy...hopefully.